Dude, where's my everything?

Pregnesia has hit me hard and fast lately. I think it's a good idea to sew my name and address inside all my clothing, so when I get lost in my backyard a neighbor will know "If lost, please return this disoriented pregnant woman to 2222 Expectant Mama Lane."

Forgetfulness and general ditziness are common symptoms of Pregnesia, for those of you lucky enough to be unfamiliar. Written off as a joke diagnosis, I am speaking out in my confused state to say that this crap is legit.

Even in the limited space I have to lose things these days, I still manage to misplace every single item I seek out during a normal day. I'm more convinced than ever that Pregnesia is very real and my affliction is in the advanced stages.

Purse on top of the car, car keys in the kitchen cabinet, frozen waffles in the vegetable drawer- it doesn't matter what I'm looking for, I will have previously left it in the most ridiculous "what-the-hell-was-I-thinking?" place possible.

Other symptoms of Pregnesia include the inability to perform the simplest tasks you used to breeze through. For example, I am a self-proclaimed Sudoku master yet the other day I found myself staring down a 2-star puzzle with my mouth hanging open like a kindergartner faced with a trigonometry problem. I've been stumped with spelling errors more than once while writing a new blog post even though my college degree focused heavily on editing the writing of others (many of whom were too lazy to even use the computer's spell check.)

Zoning out is also a common factor. And not just daydreaming about the baby- because often I can't even recall what I was thinking about in these phases. Have you found yourself watching an episode of Law and Order and thinking -"Wait! They just found the body. How have they already arrested the murderer?!" Then you realize thirty minutes passed and you have no idea where they went.

You can excuse these episodes of losing time and losing your keys by assuming you've simply lost your mind. People keep telling me "You just have so much on your mind that it's hard to concentrate." That might be part of it. And while my doctor cannot confirm it, I think Pregnesia should have an actual medical diagnosis.

Any women who has entered her seventh month of pregnancy wondering where her shoes are when they are strapped to her swollen feet would agree. "Preggo brain" is the real deal and some kind of clinical recognition would help others be a little more understanding. So when I forget what time I'm meeting my friends, or where we are meeting or their names, I can say "Hey, cut me some slack. My Pregnesia is really acting up today." And I'll have a doctor's note to prove it.

No comments:

Post a Comment