Giving up your vices for the sake of your baby may not be as difficult as you thought it would be. Nixing the alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine might seem easy in the beginning while you are distracted, bathing in the excitement of your new baby to come. But I've learned ladies, give it 30 weeks and you'll be eyeing the chick chugging her venti mocha what-not and want to snatch it from her hands and guzzle it down.
My inability to move about freely has only intensified my recent case of spouse envy. The other night my boyfriend sat down with a Bud Light and I felt a tug-of-war inside me - the urge to take the beer and drink it all myself versus the desire to break the bottle over his head for daring to drink in front of me when I could not partake.
Do not feel guilty if you have felt this (or at least a degree of this. Maybe I was too intense.) We should not be expected to sacrifice these things with a smile on our face. Outsiders seem to think because it is best for the baby, we should be chomping at the bit to get rid of these things in our daily lives. I just want to say, during my pregnancy I gave up sushi and cooked my steaks well as opposed to my preference of rare, but to expect me to do it happily and without a tiny bit of reluctance is unrealistic.
We should be allowed to mourn the loss of things we found pleasure in. Whether it's your favorite cocktail or some activity deemed unsafe, changing a lifestyle to accommodate baby is challenging. And it doesn't help to watch others savor your favorite things while you sit with the options of 7-Up and decaf.
People will say, "You decided to get pregnant, so deal with it." We are dealing with it. I'm not going to request to the entire restaurant that no one order a beer while I'm there so I won't get jealous. I'm pregnant, not unreasonable. Okay, I'm both, but the former led to the latter.
So this is more of a call to the friends and partners of the pregnant- or at least a shout out to the moms to say "it's okay to stand up for yourself here." I tell my friends I don't want to go to a sushi bar on our lunch dates, even if I could just order something else. I ask my boyfriend to get rid of my favorite beer that was in the fridge even if he might drink eventually.
Once the reality sets in that you are being deprived of your faves for close to a year, you will find your voice in asking others to abstain in your presence. And it's better if you do. Otherwise you will keep in the resentment and it will eventually explode like a big volcano called Mt. Preggo, with crazy-lava engulfing your loved ones.
So when you see a stranger on the street with your favorite beverage, take a deep breath and remind yourself "Only XX more weeks." But when it's your best friend or husband, it's within reason to ask them to keep the booze in the fridge while you are around if you are feeling annoyed by your limitations.
Plan for your first date night post-delivery to be full of your favorite things that you couldn't have during the pregnancy. I know come my Mommy's night out, I'll be staring down a glass of white wine and plate of raw fish with a hunger like no other. And when my daughter is born perfectly healthy, it will have been worth the wait.