Wednesday

My Little Green Monster

I know you have been wondering "Hey Katie, what totally awesome parenting move have you made lately that will clinch your spot in the Mother of the Year contest?"

Well readers, here is a story for the judges. It happened while my sweet baby girl was coloring last night. I decided that when your toddler has crayons is the perfect time to let your attention drift.

CeCe had already removed her shirt for the evening, but we're pretty casual around here so I didn't think twice. Always think twice, moms.

I looked up from my laptop suddenly to find my baby standing there, her mouth full of slimy, green liquid, oozing out of her smiling lips and trickling down her belly. It appeared as if she bit the head off an alien:

CeCe gnawed off a large chunk of green crayon, ground it up with her teeth and was letting it drool out of her mouth and down her half-naked body. She was quite pleased with herself:

After allowing myself a moment to laugh, I hosed her down and cleaned her teeth the best I could. A lesson was learned that night. Unfortunately, it was not CeCe learning "crayons are not food." It was Mommy learning "Don't even blink when your toddler is in possession of art supplies."

Monday

Stuck Like Glue

I think my daughter got into the super glue yesterday. That is the only explanation for how she seemed physically incapable of letting go of me for the majority of the day.

"How sweet, your baby wants to snuggle!" You are right, it is very cute and endearing ... for the first four hours. Then you just want to use the bathroom without holding hands with a toddler the entire time.

My 21-month-old girl's clinginess is unpredictable. She is usually a rambunctious, wild child who occupies herself by leaping off furniture and talking to herself in mirrors. But every so often she comes down with a case of "Don't you DARE put me down"-itis.

When my weary arms and hips could take no more yesterday, I popped in a DVD of "The Jungle Book" and let Baloo and King Louie take the lead for a while. CeCe was content to watch the movie ... until I dared to remove my arms from around her to check my phone. That did not go over well.

The baby grabbed my arm, put it back around her waist and firmly planted my hand on her belly, holding it hostage for the rest of the film. The look on her face said "Mommy- what were you thinking? We are CUDDLING!"

I guess I should soak up all this contact while I can. I do love snugs with my baby bear. I just wish I could grow that third arm already so I could actually do things while we cuddle. Maybe the Eagle Creek Library will let me bring home this Curious George doll once in a while (CeCe seems to be pretty content in his embrace):


Lights, Camera, Action

The written word has always been my forte, but I was offered the chance to venture into the world of television recently. My only goal was not to accidentally swear on air. Mission accomplished.

The segment is a product review geared toward busy moms. Of course, I have yet to meet a mom who isn't a "busy mom." A non-busy mom is like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster. You have heard of them, but have you ever really seen one?

In any case, if you are interested in watching my Mommy Segment, the video is online here! If you aren't interested, you should be because you can win FREE STUFF! Visit the ABC36 website, go to Videos and then News@Noon Guests. My segment aired 8-16, titled "Summer Solutions for Busy Moms."

Then visit the Baby Bump Lexington Facebook page to win some awesome products. And now for a photo of a gal who needs no help in the beauty department:


Tuesday

Wash Your Hands and Say Your Prayers ...

Whether you are religious or not, we all have found ourselves praying to some deity to show mercy upon our poor, tired, half-crazy souls as we try to navigate parenthood. I don't care if you love Jesus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster- sometimes you just need a little help from above to make it through another day with your baby's teething/colic/no reason at all tantrums.

My grandmother recently purchased a book for me titled "Mommy Prayers: help for the missing binky, the late preschool pickup, the birthday party from hell, and other everyday absurdities." It is written by Tracy Mayor, who apparently can read my mind although we've never met.

This collection of desperate pleas to just catch a freakin' break once in a while is something any parent can relate to. Here is a sample of one of my favorite prayers:

Prayer at Preschool Pickup:
"Dear God,
Please let me be on time. Please help this stupid woman ahead of me in her gigantic planet-trashing SUV turn off her phone and make the left turn already. And then please keep the light green for just one more second. Please don't let me be late, or, if it's somehow your will that I be late, please fill the small, tight heart of the program director with mercy and pity so that she doesn't charge me the completely outrageous one-dollar-per-minute late fee. Please let there not have been any more biting. Please don't let those moms with the perky blond ponytails and the girly pink baseball caps judge my child. Please don't let them give each other that look, or at least please don't let me see them do it. Please let my baby be happy today. Please no tears, please not that thing with the screaming and the knees. Please let us have peace at pickup. Thank you. Amen."

Thursday

Where the Wild Things Are

Most children yell or pout when they are angry. My daughter growls.

Sometimes it's a low, rumbly bear-like growl. Other times it sounds more like a screeching pterodactyl. But either way, she expresses her anger like a wild animal gearing up to charge at me.

Since CeCe relates to furry creatures so well, we decided to have a Family Adventure Day this week and head to the Cincinnati Zoo. Despite skipping her nap, our girl had a blast. Most of my photos were taken on a disposable camera yet to be developed, but a few cell phone photos were snapped in the petting zoo area:


Daddy was reminding CeCe to use "soft touches" and repeating "gentle ... GENTLE, CECE, GENTLE!" Sometimes she gets a little excited over all the fur. But the goats were very calm as a gaggle of hyperactive children poked and stroked all over their smelly coats.


Her cousin James groomed the goats and sheep, because it's very important to look nice when you are an animal that eats trash and hangs out in your own poop pellets all day.

This last photo was just before our very wise parenting decision to take our eyes off CeCe for .01 seconds, and she tried to swing her leg over the goat to mount it. We stopped her in time, but I had visions of my toddler riding a goat straight into the wallaby exhibit yelling "Giddy-up! Yah!"

I worried that 20 months might be too young for the zoo, but the day went smoothly and the baby enjoyed herself. She fed a giraffe, rode the zoo train, and said the words "Elephant," "Wolf" and "Oo-oo-aa-aa, MONKEY!" for the first time. I can't wait to take her back as she continues to grow, and see what else she learns from this experience.

Win A Rockin' CD for Your Kiddo!

If you're like me, you can only sing "Rockabye Baby" so many times before you crave a new song to soothe your babe. Besides, what a morbid song anyway. "Down will come baby, cradle and all"? Really?

If you'd like to win some sweet rock-n-roll lullabye cd's, visit Baby Bump Lexington's Facebook page! The August giveaway prizes are cd's featuring lullabye versions of The Police, Madonna and Def Leppard. To enter, just leave a comment about what cool tunes your little one likes to hear. Contest runs through August 16!

Keeping with the theme, here is a video of my daughter having a Tom Petty dance party with her dad: