It's Ezzie's birthday, but it's also my healing day.
The birth of my first child was not a pleasant experience. I was scared. I felt pressured, ignored and discarded by the medical staff. My postpartum wishes were not respected and I was too tired and overwhelmed to stand up for myself. My physical healing had issues and I needed support I was not given in the hospital.
Don't come at me with that "A healthy baby is all that matters" bull crap. Of course I am grateful for a healthy baby. But I realize now that my well-being should have mattered too.
I don't often talk about the details from the day of CeCe's birth, because I usually cry from the anger I still feel. Talk about a shitty way to remember your child's first day earthside.
But with Ezra, years had passed and I was ready to reclaim my birth experience. I had switched care providers, switched hospitals and brought in my best friend to be a second birth partner, in addition to my husband.
I entered labor feeling calmer. Every nurse and midwife kept that calming vibe going throughout my labor. The delivery was quick and easy and I remember the peace that wrapped over Ezra and I like a blanket as he laid on my chest.
So today, when Ezzie blows out his birthday candles, I make a wish too. For every baby to be born in an environment of peace where his mother feels empowered, respected and heard by all those around her as she labors.
Happy Birthday, sweet son. Our first memory together is such an important one to me.
My, how he has grown!